P6 - sub-editing article

Edited article

Are you a teenager that gets enough sleep? The answer is probably no, and research proves it.

The recommended sleep students are to have is between 8-10 hours, however the early starts at school really make this difficult. Experts say that a lack of sleep and early school start times can lead to poor exam grades, lack of motivation and even depression. I managed to speak to a student from Deyes High School in Liverpool and he had this to say; “I really struggle in my first hour, sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. It’s very tiring.’

We also managed to speak to the head teacher of Deyes High Sixth form who is also noticing the increase of tired students. He is noticing the rise of students showing up late because they’ve slept in, and he even mentioned that some of his students even ‘Drift off’ on their desks. He suggested that students should start exercising at least an hour a day to make them more tired so they are able to fall asleep at a more appropriate time. Sleep researchers say that most teens can’t fall asleep until 11 p.m. and their brains stay in sleep mode until at least 8 a.m.

Another suggestion the head teacher made was to scrap the routine of 15 minutes’ registration time and to make that into a 15-minute walk around the school field every morning. He felt as though this fresh air and exercise should wake students up of a morning. As well as this, students can walk around socialising and have a good, positive start to a hard-working day.

For a student, nothing can recharge a battery more than a good night’s sleep. If you are a student who is struggling getting up too much in the morning or just being unable to get to sleep in the first place, it’s important to put an end to this and set up a healthy bedtime routine. Following a similar nightly routine is very important to create a good sleeping habit. This routine can help you feel a lot more refreshed the next day, making you raring to go and get those grades you are wishing for.

We would suggest to get at least 9 hours sleep every weeknight. No phones before bed, no naps after school and certainly no caffeine right before bed! This is completely doable – just remember you have the whole weekend ahead to relax and have that lay-in you’ve craved all week long.

Sub-edited article

• Highlighted sections have been where the changes are to be made
• From the sub edit draft, it is clear that some of the grammatical aspects of the article have to be improved in order to make it easier to understand by the audience and to make it professional. therefore, simple spelling errors will have to be corrected and also the structure of the article will need to be improved. 

Are you a teenager that gets enough sleep? The answer is probably no, and research proves it. The recommended sleep students are to have is between 8-10 hours, however the early starts at school really make this difficult. Most teens do not get enough sleep — one study found that only 15% reported sleeping 8 1/2 hours on school nights. Teens tend to have irregular sleep patterns across the week — they typically stay up late and sleep in late on the weekends, which can affect their biological clocks and hurt the quality of their sleep. Experts say that a lack of sleep and early school start times can lead to poor exam grades, lack of motivation and even depression. I managed to speak to a student from Deyes High School in Liverpool and he had this to say; “I really struggle in my first hour, sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. It’s very tiring.’

We also managed to speak to the head teacher of Deyes High Sixth form who is also noticing the increase of tired students. He is noticing the rise of students showing up late because they’ve slept in, and he even mentioned that some of his students even ‘Drift off’ on their desks. He suggested that students should start exercising at least an hour a day to make them more tired so they are able to fall asleep at a more appropriate time. Sleep researchers say that most teens can’t fall asleep until 11 p.m. and their brains stay in sleep mode until at least 8 a.m.

Another suggestion the head teacher made was to scrap the routine of 15 minutes’ registration time and to make that into a 15-minute walk around the school field every morning. He felt as though this fresh air and exercise should wake students up of a morning. As well as this, students can walk around socialising and have a good, positive start to a hard-working day.

For a student, nothing can recharge a battery more than a good night’s sleep. If you are a student who is struggling getting up too much in the morning or just being unable to get to sleep in the first place, it’s important to put an end to this and set up a healthy bedtime routine. Following a similar nightly routine is very important to create a good sleeping habit. This routine can help you feel a lot more refreshed the next day, making you raring to go and get those grades you are wishing for.

We would suggest to get at least 9 hours sleep every weeknight. No phones before bed, no naps after school and certainly no caffeine right before bed! This is completely doable – just remember you have the whole weekend ahead to relax and have that lay-in you’ve craved all week long.

1. First of all I decided to remove this sentence as it can look too wordy for the audience. I would rather this article to be easy to read without too much information. I believed that the rest of the article is informative as it is and this sentence in particular wasn't really required to get my point across.
2. I have separated my paragraphs further to make the article more spacious and not as text-heavy.